"A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore." Yogi Berra

My father told me once that when I was a little girl he used to find "stashes" of change all over my room. I don’t remember that at all, I don’t remember if I was given an allowance for chores, although I do remember baby sitting for $.50 an hour. I baby sit from time to time today - for $15.00 an hour. Yogi’s quote rings true.

I have come full circle, I still have stashes of change, although they are “stashed away” in banks or mutual funds. I never handle money any more, it comes and goes via debit or credit cards. This is what I find so baffling about money in 2011, we talk about it all the time, but we never see it.  It is like the elephant in the living room. 

Swiping cards has replaced the jingle of change in my pocket and I’m not sure if this is a good thing. I do know that if I pay cash for something, hand the actual money to a cashier, it makes me think twice about the value of the item. Try it, you will be surprised, and it might cause you to rethink the necessity of the item in question. In the long run, it's all temporary anyway because you can't take it with you.

www.feedthepig.org/

A Gift from Irene

While walking along the riverside Oskar and I encountered a "gift" from Irene.  I like the little guy crouching, trying to decide if he should crawl or climb!

Happy Birthday, Maggie

Today is my friend, Maggie's birthday, one of those "well-rounded" ones to boot. In honor of the occasion I have attempted to write a poem:

How to describe Maggie Peruto?

She’s as Italian as a plate of proscuitto

She is mother to little Piglet and Nikki

Offering tidbits for their appetites picky

We have bonded over many things:

Politics, dogs, cabbages and kings,

Our favorite program, Breaking Bad

Cheers us when we are feeling sad.

We both love Walt, we both love Jessie

Their improbable lives become so messy

We both love voluntary simplicity

And people who display unattractive duplicity

What can I say, I love her dearly

I don't know how to say it more clearly

To quote Tina Turner, she is simply the best

So much better than all the rest.

Oskar, My Life - Part Three

Walking is a very important part of my day and my human takes it very seriously. Before we leave the apartment there are several things she puts on: first her walking shoes with the bouncy soles and her black glasses, then her hat, and she covers up her ears with round tires.  Cords hang down from the tires and there is a little gadget at the other end of the cord that she puts in her pocket. Then we’re off.  

We walk on a path along the river, and usually it is the best part of the day but one day something terrible, terrible terrible happened. I still shake every time I think about it. I was sniffing some leaves under a bush when a HUGE monster attacked me.  My human told me it was a Canadian Goose but as far as I am concerned they can stay in Canada if they are going to act like this.  It stretched out its wings so wide I thought I was a goner.  It began pecking at my eyes with it’s clacking beak, peck, peck, peck.  I was terrified!  My human was talking to another human when it happened.  She was holding a long stick called a cane and she began swinging the cane at the goose and saying, “stop that, stop that.” If it was not for that cane I really think I would be a goner. The human said I came too close to Mother Goose’s babies, but I wasn’t going to hurt those babies.  I learned a good lesson.  Whenever we see any geese now, we give them LOTS of space, believe you me.

Well, now there you have it.  I have a great life.  I like it here better than Arkansas.  I don’t like the white stuff that falls from the sky every once in awhile because it makes my feet cold. When that happens, my human puts on my coat but that doesn’t help my paws.  My apartment is called “The Mill” and all the humans know my name and are so happy to see me when we are in the little box going up or down. They don’t know my human’s name but they know mine! It is time to go for another walk so I need to say goodbye,  My human is putting on her walking gear and off we will go.  Don’t worry, I will stay far away from any of those Canadian Geese!

Oskar, My Life - Part Two

I have my own dining room, and my own bedroom.  I love my dining room because I love to eat.  There is a dish that says “dog” and a big red water dish that has Christmas presents on it, a picture of my cousin, Charley, and a little doll, a human, with her hair sticking straight up and it says “Wyoming Wind” on her dress.  Charley lives in Wyoming.  We are estranged so his human sent me the picture so I would not forget him.

        

Yoga is important for my well-being and it sets an example for the humans who hurry too much.  They need to slow down and enjoy life more.  There are many different doggie yoga positions.  One of my favorites is called the “Sideways Facing Dog” pose.  You have to hold that pose for at least two hours, even if your human enters the room.  No cheating.

The other pose is called the “Airing Out“ pose.  It is very good for everything “down there.” It stretches my front legs while it airs out my beehind. There are many other yoga poses, too many to mention, but I try to do as many as possible during the day to maintain my serenity.  Serenity is very important because my human is much too busy.  She needs me to show her how to relax.  I believe this is why we were brought together by the Great Law of Attraction, to be a power of example for her.  Otherwise, she would be a complete basket case (if you get my gist.)

Oskar, My Life - Part One

My name is Oskar Carlson.  Oskar with a “K” and Carlson with a “C.” I am a five-year old Boston Terrier,  and I live near Boston.  I am  a “brindle,” When my human takes me for a walk other humans often say “Oh, he’s a brindle, that’s unusual.”  I don’t know what a brindle is, I guess I should, but I don’t. I am also big for a Boston and very strong, solid muscle.

I was born in Arkansas, and was never under a roof until I moved to Boston. I ate, slept and played outside. One day I was playing in my yard when a man grabbed me, put me in a cage, put the cage in a truck and the truck began moving. It moved for what seemed like forever.  No one ever told me this was going to happen.  One day I’m playing with my siblings and the next day I’m in a cage on my way to Boston.  My human met me when the truck finally stopped but I did not know she was my human at the time.  She was just a human looking very happy and excited to see me.

I live in an apartment called The Mill and you have to get in a box like a little closet to get there. The closet has no windows and a sliding door.  Since I had never been inside anything, it was scary the first time  when the box started moving. You have to get in or out fast or the door will hit you in the beehind.  I don’t have much of a tail, so my beehind has had a few good whacks from that door.  The box goes up and down, never sideways.  Then you walk down a long hall until you come to a door to my apartment.   

I live in a big building with lots of other humans and quite a few dogs.  The humans mostly like me a lot.  As a matter of fact, they like me too much because they all want to hit me on the top of my head.  My human told me they only want to pat me, but you never know.  I back up fast when I see a hand coming. One of the humans put a picture of a Boston Terrier on my door in the middle of the night.  Cute.

Texting Codes for Seniors

Since all the "kids" have all their little codes...like BFF, WTF, LOL, etc. here are some text codes for seniors:

ATD - At the Doctor's

BFF - Best Friends Funeral

BTW - Bring the Wheelchair

BYOT - Bring Your Own Teeth

CBM - Covered by Medicare

CUATSC - See You at the Senior Center

FWIW - Forgot Where I Was

FYI - Found Your Insulin

GGPBL - Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low

GHA - Got Heartburn Again

HGBM - Had Good Bowel Movement

IMHO - Is My Hearing-Aid On?

LMDO - Laughing My Dentures Out

LOL - Living on Lipitor

LWO - Lawrence Welk's On

OMSG - Oh My! Sorry, Gas

ROFL...CGU - Rolling on the Floor Laughing...Can't get Up!

WAITT - Who Am I Talking To?

WTFA - Wet the Furniture Again

WTP - Where's the Prunes

WWNO - Walker Wheels Need Oil

GGLKI - Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking in!